About Me

Some of you know me from my old blog "Moving to Morocco" where I wrote about meeting my husband and, you guessed it, moving to Morocco. Well, we're back now, and I want to write about other things (but yes, we're still happily married). There's no real subject to this blog. I just want to write. If you have a subject you'd like my opinion on, just let me know. I also plan on doing advice posts. If you have something you'd like an outside opinion on, e-mail me anonymously at nicegirlatl@hotmail.com! Thanks for reading!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Regrets...

I know its best to say you shouldn't live with regrets, because everything happens for a reason. I do believe everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff, but it's impossible to live without wondering what if. There is a movie called sliding doors with Gweneth Paltrow and I really like it. Basically one little event, getting on the subway or missing it, changed the course of her life dramatically. The movie shows what would have happened had she missed the subway and what would have happened had she gotten on. I haven't seen this movie in years, but it is so true how one tiny little thing can change the course of your life.

I have some regrets, not a ton of them, but some nonetheless. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't get a college degree. I did go to college, but quit when I realized I was going for something I wasn't passionate about. I could have gone into something else, but I didn't, I just gave up. Now that I'm almost 30 I think about that all the time. What if I'd just gone ahead and finished. I could really kick myself for that sometimes, and the more time that passes and the older I get, the more I regret it.

Another one that pops out at me is a job I turned down. When I was 18 or 19 I applied for a job with a company that leased high end apartments around the country. I had to go through 13 interviews for this job. There was a lot of competition for this job as the salary and the perks were amazing. After the 13th interview I was hired. I would have traveled to different cities like New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, Austin, etc. all first class accommodations and as a bonus they'd fly you internationally for free once a year to a destination of your choice for an all expenses paid vacation. The schedule was 4 weeks on everyday and two weeks off. It was an amazing opportunity and I jumped through hoops trying to get it. Once I finally did, I backed out. Too scared to travel around the country alone, too scared to be away from my friends and family for four weeks at a time. I still wonder today how many cities I would have seen, how many friends I would have made, how much money I walked away from.

I also regret ever starting smoking, gaining 40 pounds AFTER I had my second child, & getting tattoos. These three things I can fix, and I do plan on doing so, but its still something I wish I wouldn't have done.

 Obviously my life now is good. I don't have room to complain, and I don't wonder "what if" to replace what I have now, I just wonder what type of person I'd have ended up as...smarter, funnier, nicer, more interesting? Of course I will never know, and I probably shouldn't even bother myself with these thoughts, but I think its just human nature.

What are some of your regrets?

5 comments:

  1. I guess we all have regrets Nicole, it is just human nature. My biggest regret is not going to college for something I was passionate about, you mentioned you dropped out because of that. Well I got a Masters in something I was not passionate about. I wished I had gone into something dealing with animal behavior, along those lines. I am 50 you are 30, you still have time to change things.........don't do anything now that you could have and will regret at 50. Love you and hope someday to meet you again. Janice

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  2. Nicole that is so true we all have regrets. However, the opportunities we passed on in the past has created who we are today. You cannot live with the thoughts of what if I did that because if you changed that one thing it would have changed your whole future. Just my opinion on regrets. I never want to think I regret a decision I made because I am sure I made it for some valid reason. Agree? Suzanne

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  3. Well, I am a believer in "nothing in God's world happens by mistake." I think we can drive ourselves crazy thinking about the what if's and should have's but I do it at times as well. I had to come to a strong place of acceptance for who I am and where I am TODAY because of who I was and where I've been in the past. Once I finally got sober and realized I spent 5 years in an abusive relationship AND 10 years drinking every single day... you can only imagine how many regrets came with that realization and all the amazing things that I past up or gave up or slipped through my hands because of my addiction. I have some of the same regrets as you. I started college right out of high school (after graduating from night school which I regret) I had a student loan, dorm, classes and was well on my way until I met my ex husband and got a DUI and walked away from it all. In September I paid $175 to the state of Ga and that was my final payment on that student loan...which I have nothing to show for and that I regret. But, this week I have been working on my college apps and submitted my FAFSA app last night and already got confirmation that I will receive some money from the Pell Grant. So I am on my way to changing that regret... and I am certain I am more equipped and focused and will make better use of this time in college than I ever could have when I was 18.

    I have 9 tattoos and all though they all have some sort of significance and meaning, since having Leityn I regret a few of them or where they are.

    A lot of my regrets are internal and emotional, dealing with not speaking the truth, not listening to my heart, not having self awareness, seeking emotional and physical confidence from others, settling for less, and not trusting in God when it mattered most.


    “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

    Alexander Graham Bell

    Love your writing!!

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  4. Its not to late to go to school nicole. If you started now you would finish before the age I started. I have lots of regrets BUT I am truly blessed the way it all turned out. Going to school is hard now but I know it will be worth it in the end.

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  5. I know that every event in our lives make us who we are. We have to be sure that we learn from them; and look at our lives, accomplishments and regrets from a different point of view. We have to learn and let them make us a better person. I have learned to love my faults, bad actions and even not so perfect relationships with others. I also think its never too late. If I can do it so can you. Get you self in school, if you only take 2 classes per semester. Take your core classes now and in time everything will fall into place. Dont every live and say "I wish I would have" just do it. The harder it is to get started the more you know you are on the right path: THE ROAD LEAST TRAVELED if it were easy everyone would do it. Love You Boo

    Monya Zelaya

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