Where's the surprise in that??

This morning on the radio I heard a girl call in and was speaking of her relationship. She said she and her boyfriend were in a committed relationship and were getting engaged soon. That last part reminded me that lately, as in the past few years, I've heard regularly, women talking about when they're getting engaged.

I then thought about how often I've heard women talk about going to pick out their engagement ring. This surprises me. When I think of getting engaged I think of a guy going and picking out a ring, secretly, that he thinks his girlfriend will love. I think of a man dreaming up some romantic way to surprise her, to catch her completely off guard. I think of a man calling her girlfriends to help him pull off the surprise. What I don't envision is having a conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend saying, "ok, well lets go to Kay Jewelers this weekend to pick out your ring".

I feel like getting asked "will you marry me" should be one of the biggest surprises in a womans life. Of course if you're in a committed relationship, you may realize it's headed in the direction of marriage, but I don't think it's our place as women to set a time or date or have the option of picking our ring. It's one of the biggest moments in a mans life too, and anyone who is married will probably agree that it will be the last large purchase he makes on his own. Once your married and you spend a couple grand on something, you pretty much need the ok of your spouse! I think we should leave this up to the one asking the question.

Now what if your guy picks a ring you hate? So. Thats what I say about it. It's the thought that counts. If he took the time to go to a jewelery store with you and your future in mind, you should cherish whatever he got you - whether it fit your style or not. The ring I got is not one I would have picked myself, and my husband knows that and has tried to talk me into getting a new ring several times. I've said no each time because while I may not love the style of it, I love the thought of it. I love that he went out and bought me something he thought I would love. I love that he took the time to think up a way to surprise me when he asked me to marry him. I can never get rid of this ring simply because I don't love the way it looks.

I guess my point is that sometimes just because you're in a relationship for a year doesn't mean you have to have the talk about getting an engagement ring. Obviously if you're talking about a future together he has marriage in mind. Let him be the man, take control of the situation and ask you to marry him how he wants to and with what he wants to.