About Me

Some of you know me from my old blog "Moving to Morocco" where I wrote about meeting my husband and, you guessed it, moving to Morocco. Well, we're back now, and I want to write about other things (but yes, we're still happily married). There's no real subject to this blog. I just want to write. If you have a subject you'd like my opinion on, just let me know. I also plan on doing advice posts. If you have something you'd like an outside opinion on, e-mail me anonymously at nicegirlatl@hotmail.com! Thanks for reading!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Cheating Spouses

Someone posted the question on FB the other day, "Why do people cheat"? Since I feel really strongly about cheating (as do most people, I assume) I felt the need to offer my opinion on the subject.

People who cheat have no morals. There is no fear of God. Cheating on a spouse is one of the worst sins you can commit, yet people these days seem to do it so easily.It's like there are no consequences for their actions.

Men cheat on women and the women find out and forgive them. Maybe you feel like a good person for being able to forgive, and maybe you are. Maybe it was a one time mistake. I personally would not be able to forgive even just one time. But that's me. I know my husband wouldn't forgive me for just one time either...and I respect that about him too.

I think people cheat when there is a problem in their relationship. It could be a lot of reasons. Not getting along, lack of intimacy, loneliness, not seeing each other enough....whatever. None of these reasons are good reasons for cheating. I cannot think of one GOOD reason to cheat. In my mind it's just never an option. If there is a problem in your relationship, you have two options:

1.) Fix it
2.) Get out of the marriage before you move on to the next person

If my husband cheated on me, I would never be able to look at him with respect again, I'd never be able to forgive him and move on like nothing happened. And that's what you have to do if you choose to forgive a cheater, because if you don't forgive and FORGET, you will inevitably think he is out with someone else every time he takes too long at Wal-mart, or every time he is a little late from work. You'll wonder if he's thinking about the other woman while he's with you. That's no way to live.

I have friends who have taken back cheating boyfriends and cheating husbands. I am a good friend so I support their decisions. What works for them wouldn't work for me, but it doesn't mean I judge you. You do what you need to do. But then there are those friends who are constantly cheated on. They have solid proof. The husband may have even admitted it. It may have been with several girls. My opinion here is....stop bitching about your husband cheating and how it hurts you so bad, and then take him back. Not once, not twice, but over and over and over. At that point, it's in your hands to change the situation. Stop expecting him to change. It is obvious if he is constantly in some other woman's company, whether that be at a restaurant or in her bed, he doesn't respect you and he doesn't want ONLY you. Stop expecting that to magically change. It won't.

And stop expecting your friends to feel bad for you when it happens, and then completely act like it didn't happen once you decide you want to make it work.....again. If you're going to keep taking him back you have to stop telling everyone about what he is doing. You are making your friends hate him for how he hurts you and they cant just forgive him at the drop of a hat because they don't "love him" like you do.

Cheating is quite possibly one of the worst things one can do to another. I think I'd rather be punched in the face than be cheated on. It's just such a violation of trust, respect, love.

For all of my friends that have dealt with this, please take the time to realize you are worth more than that. You deserve more, and he does not deserve you, your compassion, your forgiveness. There is someone out there that will love you completely and wholeheartedly. Someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve. Someone that will NEVER think of cheating on you.

2 comments:

  1. Agree with you 100% Nicole! The greatest gift that Kevin has given me is the abilty to trust him 100% Everyone deserves that from their mate! No one should settle for less!
    P.S. not trying to be "anonymos" just didn't know which one to select ~Tina Sechrist

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  2. I had the same feeling also. I thought I be able to forgive him and look at him straight in the eye. I was able to forgive his fault but I decided that we should remain friends then. I am happy living my life as a single parent.

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