Body Image and the media

This post is about an article recently in Marie Claire magazine by blog writer, Maura Kelly. The article is in reference to a new show on CBS called Mike and Molly. The show is about an overweight couple that met at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Ms. Kelly puts in her own words how she feels about fat people making out on TV.

 If you'd like to read the article, here is a link the reprehensible piece of trash...

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

For those of you that don't want to read it, let me quote her

 "So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room"

There were apparently around 30,000 emails to Marie Claire about how rude and uncalled for this article was, yet the editor is standing by the writer. How this article even passed an editors desk, I will never know. Being a writer, especially a writer in a very popular publication, requires some level of common sense. Even if this writer HATES fat people, she has to know there are fat people that read her blog. There are wives of fat men, mothers of fat daughters, friends of fat friends (or as she would call her fat friends "plump"). Even if she wanted to voice her distaste for fat people, there is a more eloquent way of doing so, instead of acting like a 3rd grader on the playground saying "fatties are soooo grossssssss".

It is exactly these kind of articles that give people, young girls specifically, self esteem issues. We cannot keep conveying to girls that they have to look like the models in magazines to be good enough. You do not have to have blonde hair, big boobs, a flat stomach, and long legs to be good enough. When is TV going to start depicting "the average girl". The average size in the US is a 12. How many shows can you name with a woman that is bigger than a 6? 

Just the other day I was looking at a plus sized clothing catalogue. Even to sell plus size clothes they use women that are not what I think of when I hear "plus sized". I went to Lane Bryant's website and pulled this picture of one of their models. This is what a company that sells only big lady clothes, considers fat....

Seriously? This woman is far from even being chubby. She seems like a very average body type. Thin legs, thin arms, nice waist. Why is it that even the company catering to larger women won't use a larger woman to sell their items?

I am by no means advocating being overweight. It is obviously not healthy, but I think as a society we should accept that the majority are above their ideal weight. We have to stop being so cruel to anyone that has a little extra weight. We have to stop obsessing over the photoshopped images on the front of magazines. We cant look at Madonna and think that is what a 50+ year old should look like. It's not.

I just want there to be some recognition of the "everyday girl", so that our kids don't grow up thinking they have to resemble what they see on TV. I want girls to embrace the fact that their unique. I want girls to grow up being confident in who they are and be able to look at an article like the one written in Marie Claire and know that that lady's opinion is not the general consensus.

Women of every shape and size are beautiful. Tall, short, blonde, brunette, skinny, chubby, black, white, blue eyes, brown eyes, short hair, long hair.....we are all unique, and we are all beautiful in some way and to someone. I hope that we as women can feel that within ourselves, and teach that lesson to our kids as well. Nobody is perfect, but as long as we are confident in ourselves, that is all that matters.

Hate and Ignorance is alive and well....

Social networking has been many things to me. It's been a way to reconnect with old friends, a way to meet new friends, a way to kill time when I'm bored. It has also been a way for me to see the hate and ignorance that is still alive and well in many people. These people I'm talking about are not old, they're not from a time when schools and businesses were segregated. They're not from a time when women couldn't vote. They're from my time. My age. An age where we should have grown up open minded and accepting of people....even if they're different from us.

 I've seen comments and posts and pictures easily using the N word. Joking about it. Laughing about it, and defending it when I've said something. I've seen comments about Muslims. Nasty comments. Comments no person would easily utter from their mouth in mixed company, yet speak so freely when they feel safe, tucked away behind their computers, posting it for all the world to see. Comments about Mexicans. How they're the ones abusing our system by getting Medicaid, Food Stamps, and WIC. How can you say its all Mexicans. I'm sure there are more than a few Caucasians abusing the system. And I know there are lots of them NOT abusing the system, simply utilizing what is available to them in their current situation. Just because you see someone using food stamps getting into a nice vehicle doesn't mean anything. Maybe they borrowed that vehicle to get to the store. Perhaps they paid for it in full when times were good, before losing their job.

When did my generation become so quick to judge? When did a switch flip in our heads saying its ok to hate people that are different from you? When did it become ok to say whatever nasty thing you have on your mind about people and then the acceptable response is "Oh I have friends that are black, I have friends that are Muslim, I know people on Medicaid". Get a grip people. Those black friends you have, they don't want to be friends with people that freely use the N word. Especially when used in a way to mock black people (not that any way of using it is acceptable). No Muslim wants to be a friend with someone who goes on the internet and expresses disgust for Islam. Or speaks about how all Muslims hate Americans, or how all Muslims beat their wives, etc. And no one who is using Medicaid for the right reasons is proud of it. But they do it. Why? Because they have to. They have to get their kids to the doctor. They use Food Stamps so their kids don't go hungry. So don't react to me that you're free to say what you want because "I have a friend who_________". If that's how you treat your "friends", then rest assured, you are no friend at all.

Teen Mom.....

There are not many shows that I am this involved in. I am passionate about this show.  I think this show in particular gets to me because I was in this situation. I was a young single mom. I was a young single mom of a child who was very sick. I was a young single mom of a child who was very sick with a terrible paying job that I could barely show up for between my child's surgeries and procedures. And I made it work. So it leaves me wondering, how can some of these moms think about only themselves.

My thoughts are not ALL bad about the people on the show, but I'm just going to do a run-down on my opinions of each....

Catelynn/Tyler:
Wow, how hard would it be to make a decision to give your child up. Obviously its not a decision you take lightly, and I don't think these two did. I think what they did was selfless. They wanted their baby, but they could recognize that their situation was not ideal to add a child into. Especially when you look at Catelynns mom and how verbally abusive she is to Catelynn. That woman is a train wreck, she's one of the people I hate the most on the show. She cannot understand that Catelynn and Tyler want to finish school and go to college. They want to be teenagers. And they should want that for themselves. They were responsible enough to realize that they'd miss out on a lot, and their child would miss out on a lot if they chose to keep her. Some people wonder why they're on the show, since they don't have a kid. Well, I think it's really good to show that side of getting pregnant as a teen. Just because you give your baby up for adoption doesn't mean the emotions go away. I'm sure this is something they'll struggle with for the rest of their lives.

Maci/Ryan:
I think Maci's doing the best out of all of them. She really seems to put Bently first and do whats best for him. She seems very patient and loving toward him. She also seems like being a mom is not an obligation to her, but something she enjoys doing. I wasn't particularly impressed with her decision to move away from her family for a guy that seemed very immature, but I guess sometimes love is blind. Even though they broke up, I was glad she decided to stay and do it on her own. Sometimes being self sufficient requires that you get in a situation where you have no other choice. I'm sure she will do well wherever she ends up. Ryan on the other hand, I think he just wants more time with Bently to make Maci mad.

Farrah:
Whoa, she is whiny, spoiled, and uber-annoying, or was. Farrah seems like she's slooooowly starting to grow up. I think dealing with the loss of her baby's daddy is helping her a lot. She's not a perfect mom by any means, but I think she is getting better. Good for her for seeking therapy. I hope that sometime soon she starts to play a little more with her baby. These kids need interaction with other kids, or at the very least, their parents.

Amber/Gary:
Seriously, seriously? Why are these two on the show. Amber is a verbally and physically abusive beast. I have never once seen her (or Gary for that matter) interact with their child. Never playing, never hugging, never kissing. She has constantly been ignored. That kid is going to end up messed up from constantly seeing screaming and fighting. Amber is the most self-centered person I think I've ever witnessed. She is more concerned with her hair, nails and dating than her own child!!! Her walmart guy date is a convicted child molester....hey honey, of course he "loves" that you have a kid. If some guy said he was on a work release program and living in a half-way house, I'm pretty sure that'd be my cue to get the hell out of there. Right then. Stop eating, get your ass up, and leave, but at the very least....ask why the heck he's in jail. Duh. I'm just frustrated that they've not been kicked off the show or something. If anyone should have given their child up for adoption, it should have been those two!!

Changes are a comin'

I'm not an eternal optimist. I generally can look at a situation from both perspectives, but here lately I feel as if I am becoming a bigger pessimist than I've ever been before. There is some daily negativity around me, and unfortunately, I am allowing it to effect my attitude. I remember a time where not much bothered me. People's actions could not influence how I felt. I really miss that about myself, and I wish to get back there. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am thankful for the things I have - a great family, a home, a job, but there is something missing. Something inside myself. I've been in a funk like this before. Where I just felt out of control of my thoughts. It's weird to explain because it's not necessarily something I've done, or not done, or someone else has done, or not done....it's just an accumulation of "things". Essentially I am just looking to be a more laid back, happier me. So, how to do that?

A few years back I watched The Secret. I decided to apply the law of attraction to my life. I basically said that every negative thought I had would be replaced by something positive. That one rule was hard. Very hard. For around a week I had a headache from all of the thinking I was doing! It was amazing to me just how much negativity I had inside of me. After that week, it was kind of easy to just think positively about things. I felt better and I projected a more positive energy, and yes, it was being returned. From there I started to own my path. I said I would accomplish something, and I saw it being accomplished, and eventually I accomplished it. So anyway, long story short, it worked, and I'm planning to apply it to myself now.

Starting today I am going to try to be more positive. Well not just "more" positive, but POSITIVE! Wish me luck!!!!