In an effort to save money due to the recent loss of my job, I've turned to couponing. Every week I scour the internet for deals. Not only on grocery store items, but other things myself and my family needs as well. Just because I'm not working doesn't mean my kids stop needing clothes, shoes, and toys. It doesn't mean I stop needing things from The Home Depot to fix small things around the house. I've written before about different ways to cut corners, but recently I've found a website that has helped me out with coupon codes for my online purchases, and so I thought I'd share! It's www.couponchief.com
Couponchief.com has a list of stores that offer shopping online, and they include a coupon code to enter during checkout. Whether it be 10% off, free shipping, or $20 off your full order, there are several to choose from for each store. And these aren't stores you'd never shop at. These are huge nationwide stores. Best Buy, Old Navy, Sears, Lane Bryant, Wal-mart, etc. Even better, they have discount codes for hotels, rental cars, and even cruises! If you're looking for something in particular, you can search the site for the store you want to shop at, and then it will list all of the coupons available and the success rate for each coupon. I would suggest considering purchasing something online that you've found in the store, just to get the discount. It could save you a good amount of money!
I've used this site a few times and it's definitely helped me to save money. I check back regularly, because new coupons are shared often. I recommend stopping by www.couponchief.com before your next online purchase!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Most Wanted Man in the World
There are a few days in my life that I will remember every detail to. Very few. One of those days occurred almost ten years ago. I was six and a half months pregnant and headed into work. Halfway there I started having contractions and turned around to head to the hospital. I was driving on back country roads and blew through a red light as the contractions were coming just a few minutes apart. I got pulled over and told the cop I thought I was in labor and was headed to the hospital. He told me he'd let me on my way in just a moment...after he wrote the ticket. I told him again I thought I was in labor and he told me to stop yelling at him and he'd be back with a ticket. I waited, got my ticket and sped off to the hospital.
Once in the hospital, my boss kept calling me to see when I'd be in. I told her I was at the hospital, in labor, and they were in the process of stopping it. Every 5 minutes she called to see when I'd be on my way. After turning my cell phone off, she started calling the hospital. I was on the phone with her when the nurse turned on the TV. The first plane had hit the World Trade Center and the second plane was heading toward the second building. I was 20 and wasn't very worldly. I remember questioning why there were planes hitting buildings. I'd never heard of Al Qaeda, I'd never heard of Osama Bin Laden. I was speechless. I was confused. I was in shock. I was scared for the people inside both of those buildings.
I, along with most of the country - world, even, was glued to the TV. As every detail and description of what was happening was revealed, another wave of despair for our country washed over me. Watching those buildings collapse...following the gasp of everyone in the room, was complete silence. You could hear a pin drop in that hospital room. The beeps of the machine, the dripping of the IV's - the silence drowned out the random sounds of a hospital room. September 11, 2001.
In the weeks following I remember people being so nice. Maybe people were extra nice to me because I was huge and pregnant, but I believe that it was due to what happened on that day. I think people felt a need to be nicer, to be more respectful, to kind of stand together as a country. I know that no matter where I went, chatter about 9/11 was, at the very least in the background, if not the main topic of conversation. That day changed a lot of people. That one day changed the world.
Although there was speculation that Osama Bin Laden was behind it, he didn't actually admit responsibility until a few years later. Being a young mom with a baby with a disability, I have to admit that I wasn't on top of things and how they unfolded. I wasn't a huge supporter of the war, but I wasn't completely against it either - at first. Over the years, I've learned things that have disappointed me about this war. It's ruined our economy, and its caused unnecessary loss of life to our soldiers who so bravely elected to go fight for us. But I think it's always been a priority to bring justice to those that were responsible for 9/11. Specifically Osama Bin Laden.
I woke up on May 2 and the first news I was met with was "OSAMA BIN LADEN KILLED" on msn.com. I didn't jump for joy. I didn't scream, I didn't dance. I did feel relief. I felt that there would be some closure for the families of those who died in the twin towers. But I also felt assured that this was NOT the end of Al Qaeda. This is not the end of terrorism. This is not the end of anything. If anything, supporters of Bin Laden will be inclined to retaliate. Bombing innocent civilians will become a priority throughout the world. I was a bit ashamed of the way the news showed people across our country chanting and celebrating death. I felt like it made us look no better than the people who celebrated and chanted in the streets when those two buildings collapsed. We can be relieved. We can feel closure. But death is death. Good or bad people, it's still death and shouldn't be celebrated. I hope more than anything that his death will maybe make Al Qaeda weaker, but honestly I doubt it.
I am glad that he's no longer an issue for our country. I am glad that justice was served. Everyone who commits a crime should be punished. He, for many years, had been very vocal in his hate toward Americans. He encouraged people to kill Americans, even innocent civilians. He was an evil man. Whatever his intentions were, I am happy that he will no longer be a threat. We now have to be prepared for the next in line to take his place. Without a doubt there will always be people who hate America. And Americans. Just because. In a few weeks or months I won't remember the date of Bin Ladens death. It will go down as a memorable day, but not one that was so life changing for me that it reserves a spot in my "forever" memory.
And for the record, yes, I did have to pay that ticket I got for running a red light en route to the hospital while in labor.
Once in the hospital, my boss kept calling me to see when I'd be in. I told her I was at the hospital, in labor, and they were in the process of stopping it. Every 5 minutes she called to see when I'd be on my way. After turning my cell phone off, she started calling the hospital. I was on the phone with her when the nurse turned on the TV. The first plane had hit the World Trade Center and the second plane was heading toward the second building. I was 20 and wasn't very worldly. I remember questioning why there were planes hitting buildings. I'd never heard of Al Qaeda, I'd never heard of Osama Bin Laden. I was speechless. I was confused. I was in shock. I was scared for the people inside both of those buildings.
I, along with most of the country - world, even, was glued to the TV. As every detail and description of what was happening was revealed, another wave of despair for our country washed over me. Watching those buildings collapse...following the gasp of everyone in the room, was complete silence. You could hear a pin drop in that hospital room. The beeps of the machine, the dripping of the IV's - the silence drowned out the random sounds of a hospital room. September 11, 2001.
In the weeks following I remember people being so nice. Maybe people were extra nice to me because I was huge and pregnant, but I believe that it was due to what happened on that day. I think people felt a need to be nicer, to be more respectful, to kind of stand together as a country. I know that no matter where I went, chatter about 9/11 was, at the very least in the background, if not the main topic of conversation. That day changed a lot of people. That one day changed the world.
Although there was speculation that Osama Bin Laden was behind it, he didn't actually admit responsibility until a few years later. Being a young mom with a baby with a disability, I have to admit that I wasn't on top of things and how they unfolded. I wasn't a huge supporter of the war, but I wasn't completely against it either - at first. Over the years, I've learned things that have disappointed me about this war. It's ruined our economy, and its caused unnecessary loss of life to our soldiers who so bravely elected to go fight for us. But I think it's always been a priority to bring justice to those that were responsible for 9/11. Specifically Osama Bin Laden.
I woke up on May 2 and the first news I was met with was "OSAMA BIN LADEN KILLED" on msn.com. I didn't jump for joy. I didn't scream, I didn't dance. I did feel relief. I felt that there would be some closure for the families of those who died in the twin towers. But I also felt assured that this was NOT the end of Al Qaeda. This is not the end of terrorism. This is not the end of anything. If anything, supporters of Bin Laden will be inclined to retaliate. Bombing innocent civilians will become a priority throughout the world. I was a bit ashamed of the way the news showed people across our country chanting and celebrating death. I felt like it made us look no better than the people who celebrated and chanted in the streets when those two buildings collapsed. We can be relieved. We can feel closure. But death is death. Good or bad people, it's still death and shouldn't be celebrated. I hope more than anything that his death will maybe make Al Qaeda weaker, but honestly I doubt it.
I am glad that he's no longer an issue for our country. I am glad that justice was served. Everyone who commits a crime should be punished. He, for many years, had been very vocal in his hate toward Americans. He encouraged people to kill Americans, even innocent civilians. He was an evil man. Whatever his intentions were, I am happy that he will no longer be a threat. We now have to be prepared for the next in line to take his place. Without a doubt there will always be people who hate America. And Americans. Just because. In a few weeks or months I won't remember the date of Bin Ladens death. It will go down as a memorable day, but not one that was so life changing for me that it reserves a spot in my "forever" memory.
And for the record, yes, I did have to pay that ticket I got for running a red light en route to the hospital while in labor.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
What the hell is wrong with kids these days - AND their parents
Today the weather was beautiful. A nice day for a cookout. To throw the ball around with the kids. While I caught up on some housework the kids were outside with their dad, playing football. I saw 4 kids come in the yard and were playing with Cain. I went on about my indoor work while they enjoyed playing. A few minutes later everyone came in and my husband explained that the boys were ganging up on Cain, calling him stupid, several tackling him at once, and slamming him into the woody/rocky area at the edge of our yard. Cain was scratched up and my husband yelled at the kids and sent them away.
A few minutes later, Cain said "where's my football mom, I put it right there." I told him to go look around the yard, in the woods, and in his room before he assumed someone stole it. After both of us searching, I realized it was not here and those boys took it. I got in my car and drove around the neighborhood looking for them, as I didn't know their names, or where they lived. These were not kids Cain had ever played with before. I circled around and didn't see the kids, but Cain said he knew where one lived. I drove with Cain to the house where an older woman was sitting on the porch, and a 20-something man was just walking out.
I stopped the young man and asked, "does a young boy live here?" He seemed hesitant to answer, but said "yuh". I explained, "I'm not sure if its the boy who lives here or not, but there were several boys playing in my yard, they got too rough, we asked them to leave, and now my sons football is missing" He said, "yuh". I said, "well, would you mind going and checking to see if he has it", he looked annoyed and walked inside. Two minutes later he came out and had the football in his hand and tossed it to me. Didn't say anything, nor did the older lady on the porch. I said, "maybe you should take this opportunity to talk to the boy about not stealing" he replied with, "yuh". With the blatant disregard, I let him know that if anything like this ever happened again, I wouldn't be so cool about it, and I would call the cops. "Keep the boy off my property".
By this time there were around 15 boys ranging from 6 to 14ish standing around laughing. I asked them if they thought stealing was funny. They said "yuh, dis funny". I said, "son, how would you feel if someone walked into your yard, and stole your stuff", "aww nah man, it'd be a fight". I said, "look, stealing is wrong, and sitting back laughing about people stealing is no better, God does NOT like ugly". They apologized and went on their way. An hour later, the kids who stole the ball were hanging out in the street - unsupervised - again.
If the situation was flipped and Cain stole something - ANYTHING - from ANYONE, not only would Cain be apologizing to the person he stole from, he'd more than likely get spanked (and I never hit my kids), along with being grounded from EVERYTHING for a month. Cain knows this, so he wouldn't even consider taking something that wasn't his. I would be mortified if someone came to my home and said my kid stole something. I sure as hell wouldn't sit there nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened.
This leads me to wonder how people live like this? You just go through life and don't give a second thought as to where your kids are and what they're doing? Most of the kids in our neighborhood are unsupervised in the street from age 4. I've had to yell at kids for darting behind my car when I'm backing out of my driveway. For not moving when people are driving down the street. I don't even know these kids, its not my responsibility to get onto them, yet I do it, because I don't want them run over.
I just wish more parents would take responsibility for their children. I wish that they would teach them right from wrong, supervise them, and guide them to do the right thing. My kids are NOT perfect. I am NOT a perfect mom. I make mistakes, and they make mistakes, but I know that my kids know right from wrong and they know the consequences of their actions. If a child doesn't KNOW that he'll get punished for _______, he will not care. He will act as he wants to and think about the consequence later. I have high expectations for my sons lives. I just wish every parent would realize that THE most important job they'll ever do in their lives, is raise their kids.
A few minutes later, Cain said "where's my football mom, I put it right there." I told him to go look around the yard, in the woods, and in his room before he assumed someone stole it. After both of us searching, I realized it was not here and those boys took it. I got in my car and drove around the neighborhood looking for them, as I didn't know their names, or where they lived. These were not kids Cain had ever played with before. I circled around and didn't see the kids, but Cain said he knew where one lived. I drove with Cain to the house where an older woman was sitting on the porch, and a 20-something man was just walking out.
I stopped the young man and asked, "does a young boy live here?" He seemed hesitant to answer, but said "yuh". I explained, "I'm not sure if its the boy who lives here or not, but there were several boys playing in my yard, they got too rough, we asked them to leave, and now my sons football is missing" He said, "yuh". I said, "well, would you mind going and checking to see if he has it", he looked annoyed and walked inside. Two minutes later he came out and had the football in his hand and tossed it to me. Didn't say anything, nor did the older lady on the porch. I said, "maybe you should take this opportunity to talk to the boy about not stealing" he replied with, "yuh". With the blatant disregard, I let him know that if anything like this ever happened again, I wouldn't be so cool about it, and I would call the cops. "Keep the boy off my property".
By this time there were around 15 boys ranging from 6 to 14ish standing around laughing. I asked them if they thought stealing was funny. They said "yuh, dis funny". I said, "son, how would you feel if someone walked into your yard, and stole your stuff", "aww nah man, it'd be a fight". I said, "look, stealing is wrong, and sitting back laughing about people stealing is no better, God does NOT like ugly". They apologized and went on their way. An hour later, the kids who stole the ball were hanging out in the street - unsupervised - again.
If the situation was flipped and Cain stole something - ANYTHING - from ANYONE, not only would Cain be apologizing to the person he stole from, he'd more than likely get spanked (and I never hit my kids), along with being grounded from EVERYTHING for a month. Cain knows this, so he wouldn't even consider taking something that wasn't his. I would be mortified if someone came to my home and said my kid stole something. I sure as hell wouldn't sit there nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened.
This leads me to wonder how people live like this? You just go through life and don't give a second thought as to where your kids are and what they're doing? Most of the kids in our neighborhood are unsupervised in the street from age 4. I've had to yell at kids for darting behind my car when I'm backing out of my driveway. For not moving when people are driving down the street. I don't even know these kids, its not my responsibility to get onto them, yet I do it, because I don't want them run over.
I just wish more parents would take responsibility for their children. I wish that they would teach them right from wrong, supervise them, and guide them to do the right thing. My kids are NOT perfect. I am NOT a perfect mom. I make mistakes, and they make mistakes, but I know that my kids know right from wrong and they know the consequences of their actions. If a child doesn't KNOW that he'll get punished for _______, he will not care. He will act as he wants to and think about the consequence later. I have high expectations for my sons lives. I just wish every parent would realize that THE most important job they'll ever do in their lives, is raise their kids.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Why not just become a Muslim?
In a discussion regarding a Christian woman married to a Muslim man, accepting her children being raised as Muslims, the following question was asked:
" how strongly can one believe in their professed faith if they are willing to raise their children in a faith that has a ...HUGE difference? If you don't believe strongly enough in Christianity to be sure to raise your kids as believers in it but maybe you find Islam acceptable why not just become Muslim?"
This was not directed or asked of me, however, I am in this exact situation and I thought it was a valid question. I can see how a Muslim woman wouldn't understand my reasoning for allowing this or accepting it. I will offer a little into the way I see it....
Before I offer my views on it, for anyone that isn't clear what the HUGE difference is, let me explain. Islam and Christianity are pretty similar on many levels. Many of the stories in the Koran and The Bible are the same. However, Christians believe Jesus is the son of God. Muslims believe Jesus is a prophet, not the son, and that Muhammad was the last prophet. Obviously, there are other differences as well, but that would be the main difference. Since Christianity is based on the belief that Jesus is the son of God, it would basically mean that since Muslims do not, they are unbelievers. Since Christians do believe Jesus is the son of God and that Muhammad was not a prophet, it would basically make Christians unbelievers. The Koran does not say to hate Christians, quite the opposite. They are allowed to marry both Christians and Jews because we are people of the book.
Now, on to why I am accepting of my children being raised Muslim....
What I know about Islam, I can respect. Can I believe it for myself? Not right now. Why not? Well, I truly believe we are a product of our environment. If I were born into a Muslim family, without a doubt, I would be Muslim. If a Muslim were born into a Christian family, I believe, without a doubt they would be Christian. For me, the past 30 years, I've believed that Jesus is the son of God. It's hard to NOT believe that, which is what I would have to do to convert. It's hard to un-believe what you've been taught for 30 years, and I'm not sure there is a reason for me to. Obviously, it would be much easier for me to be a Muslim, as my husband is, and my children are. But easier isn't always better, in my opinion.
So if I'm not sure Islam is the truth, why would I allow my children to be raised as Muslims? Well, I'm probably the minority here, but I don't think that only ONE religion gets to heaven. I do not believe I have a better chance than my husband or my other Muslim friends, simply because I'm Christian. My husbands faith is something I envy. My husband worships God faithfully. He lives his life in a respectable way. He prays probably more than most Christians. He studies the Koran. But I don't think he has a better chance than me to get to heaven simply because he's a Muslim either. Maybe he does because he's more devout than I am, but not because of WHAT he believes.
On a religious scale, of the two of us, my husband is MUCH more religious than I am. So knowing that, it is better for my children to have that parent to learn from. He leads by example, and he is passionate about Islam. He likes talking about it. He loves telling stories from the Koran. He looks forward to teaching the kids about Islam. I, on the other hand, don't enjoy any conversations about religion. I would never take the time to sit and make sure my children are religious. Believe in God? Yes. Religious? No.
So what about getting into heaven? I think if my children follow my husbands path, they'd have a better chance than following mine. Although I follow the 10 commandments, and I worship God, I do not take the extra steps....like reading the Bible or setting specific times to pray. Taking Islam and Christianity out of the equation....just religiously speaking, my husband is more committed to knowing and serving God than I am. I don't think this makes me a bad Christian (obviously I could be better) but I think it puts my husband in a better position to do any religious teaching in our house.
I don't have doubt in Christianity, so there is no reason for me to convert to another religion. I find Islam, not only acceptable, but respectable, so there is no reason for me not to want my children to be Muslim. I think I find it fine, just because of my belief that God is SO good, he wouldn't punish people that worshiped him in life, to the best of their ability and knowledge. If Christianity is wrong, God will know that we believed it with the best of what we were taught and we lived good lives worshiping Him. And the same goes for Muslims, they are worshiping God as they were taught. How could they be punished for that? I just cannot comprehend how people think that God would send the majority of the living world to hell. If only one religion gets "in", that would be very sad for me.
So in summary, for me, it's just about who worships more - not better, or more correctly. To be completely honest there is no way for SURE to know who is RIGHT. We can only BELIEVE, not know. And in this particular case, I don't think that there is one right answer.
" how strongly can one believe in their professed faith if they are willing to raise their children in a faith that has a ...HUGE difference? If you don't believe strongly enough in Christianity to be sure to raise your kids as believers in it but maybe you find Islam acceptable why not just become Muslim?"
This was not directed or asked of me, however, I am in this exact situation and I thought it was a valid question. I can see how a Muslim woman wouldn't understand my reasoning for allowing this or accepting it. I will offer a little into the way I see it....
Before I offer my views on it, for anyone that isn't clear what the HUGE difference is, let me explain. Islam and Christianity are pretty similar on many levels. Many of the stories in the Koran and The Bible are the same. However, Christians believe Jesus is the son of God. Muslims believe Jesus is a prophet, not the son, and that Muhammad was the last prophet. Obviously, there are other differences as well, but that would be the main difference. Since Christianity is based on the belief that Jesus is the son of God, it would basically mean that since Muslims do not, they are unbelievers. Since Christians do believe Jesus is the son of God and that Muhammad was not a prophet, it would basically make Christians unbelievers. The Koran does not say to hate Christians, quite the opposite. They are allowed to marry both Christians and Jews because we are people of the book.
Now, on to why I am accepting of my children being raised Muslim....
What I know about Islam, I can respect. Can I believe it for myself? Not right now. Why not? Well, I truly believe we are a product of our environment. If I were born into a Muslim family, without a doubt, I would be Muslim. If a Muslim were born into a Christian family, I believe, without a doubt they would be Christian. For me, the past 30 years, I've believed that Jesus is the son of God. It's hard to NOT believe that, which is what I would have to do to convert. It's hard to un-believe what you've been taught for 30 years, and I'm not sure there is a reason for me to. Obviously, it would be much easier for me to be a Muslim, as my husband is, and my children are. But easier isn't always better, in my opinion.
So if I'm not sure Islam is the truth, why would I allow my children to be raised as Muslims? Well, I'm probably the minority here, but I don't think that only ONE religion gets to heaven. I do not believe I have a better chance than my husband or my other Muslim friends, simply because I'm Christian. My husbands faith is something I envy. My husband worships God faithfully. He lives his life in a respectable way. He prays probably more than most Christians. He studies the Koran. But I don't think he has a better chance than me to get to heaven simply because he's a Muslim either. Maybe he does because he's more devout than I am, but not because of WHAT he believes.
On a religious scale, of the two of us, my husband is MUCH more religious than I am. So knowing that, it is better for my children to have that parent to learn from. He leads by example, and he is passionate about Islam. He likes talking about it. He loves telling stories from the Koran. He looks forward to teaching the kids about Islam. I, on the other hand, don't enjoy any conversations about religion. I would never take the time to sit and make sure my children are religious. Believe in God? Yes. Religious? No.
So what about getting into heaven? I think if my children follow my husbands path, they'd have a better chance than following mine. Although I follow the 10 commandments, and I worship God, I do not take the extra steps....like reading the Bible or setting specific times to pray. Taking Islam and Christianity out of the equation....just religiously speaking, my husband is more committed to knowing and serving God than I am. I don't think this makes me a bad Christian (obviously I could be better) but I think it puts my husband in a better position to do any religious teaching in our house.
I don't have doubt in Christianity, so there is no reason for me to convert to another religion. I find Islam, not only acceptable, but respectable, so there is no reason for me not to want my children to be Muslim. I think I find it fine, just because of my belief that God is SO good, he wouldn't punish people that worshiped him in life, to the best of their ability and knowledge. If Christianity is wrong, God will know that we believed it with the best of what we were taught and we lived good lives worshiping Him. And the same goes for Muslims, they are worshiping God as they were taught. How could they be punished for that? I just cannot comprehend how people think that God would send the majority of the living world to hell. If only one religion gets "in", that would be very sad for me.
So in summary, for me, it's just about who worships more - not better, or more correctly. To be completely honest there is no way for SURE to know who is RIGHT. We can only BELIEVE, not know. And in this particular case, I don't think that there is one right answer.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Abstinence and Abortion
The only way to prevent pregnancy 100% is abstinence. The only way to prevent getting an STD is to abstain not only from sex, but from all sexual activity. I'm an adult and I know this to be fact. I will teach this fact to my children. Sex before marriage is a sin. I will teach them that too. They will learn it at home, school, and from their religious teachers.
However,
The Guttmacher Institute reports "Although only 13% of teens have ever had vaginal sex by age 15, sexual activity is common by the late teen years. By their 19th birthday, seven in 10 teens of both sexes have had intercourse."
So, while abstinence is obviously the BEST option, it is not always a realistic expectation of our children. We as parents can do our best to teach our children to wait, but we cannot be with them at every moment. We cannot be by their sides to make decisions for them. We have to accept reality and arm our children with the tools to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies and potentially life threatening diseases, should they find themselves in a situation where their bodies are thinking, instead of their minds. We have to give them the knowledge of the consequences of sex. We have to let them know about the 15 million new cases of STD's that are reported each year, half of those belonging to people ages 15 - 24. I will never be the mom that hands my kids condoms and tells them to have fun, obviously, but I WILL be the mom that provides my children with the knowledge to make an educated decision, should they decide to go against what we as parents HOPE for....that they'll wait. Knowledge is power. Knowledge can save their life. Knowledge can prevent a pregnancy. Hoping and praying your kid will wait until marriage is about as solid of a plan as hoping and praying to retire by winning the lottery. We have to prepare them for the real world. And in the real world - teenagers have sex.
And they get pregnant. We have a wildly popular series on TV about teenage mothers. Teen pregnancy is an epidemic. It's not going anywhere either. In a conversation about this abortion came up. Most people I know are strongly against abortion. My feelings on abortion are pretty strong as well, but I am not pro-choice or pro-life. I'm somewhere in the middle about it. I personally do not know anyone that's had an abortion - well, I might know someone - but they've never advertised it or talked to me about it if they have had one. So my feelings do not come from personal experience. I just have an opinion about it.
This conversation that took place was on facebook. On the page of a preachers wife. Obviously, everyone was pro-life. "God NEVER makes a mistake" "EVERY pregnancy is a miracle, even if you can't see that right now". Yeah? I disagree. I personally believe that abortion should not be used as a means of birth control. I think if you got pregnant unintentionally, there are other options, namely adoption. There are tons of people out there that would do anything to raise your unwanted baby. But, there are certain circumstances that I find abortion acceptable. A rape that resulted in pregnancy is absolutely an understandable reason to want and have an abortion. Another situation I thought of was a single mom who is pregnant and is advised by her doctors that the pregnancy will likely kill her (for whatever reason). Should she give birth and leave two children without a mother, or have an abortion, to be here for her living child?
And in the case of teen pregnancy? I'm on the fence. So I can't really speak with absolute certainty how I would react to that situation, if it were to present itself in my life. I know as an adult with two children and a supportive husband to help me, being a mother is still hard. I know that only 50% of teenage mothers finish high school. And an even lower percentage attend college. Getting pregnant at a young age and becoming a mother will most likely result in a difficult life.Not only will the teen parents suffer, the child will suffer as well. Not in ALL cases obviously, but in most. You cannot expect a 15 year old to be able to teach a child life lessons they themselves have not yet had a chance to learn. While I think abortion in most situations is wrong, I can't be 100% sure I wouldn't suggest it to my child if they found themselves facing that situation.
You have to think about all sides of it. It is quite easy to sit back and think that NO pregnancy should ever be terminated. It is quite easy to judge when your not faced with making that life changing decision. It is quite easy to say that even a pregnancy that was a result of a violent sexual act is a miracle, but I'd be willing to bet that while in theory that sounds great, in reality, if that happened to you, you just might find yourself asking God to forgive you while your sitting at the doctors office.
However,
The Guttmacher Institute reports "Although only 13% of teens have ever had vaginal sex by age 15, sexual activity is common by the late teen years. By their 19th birthday, seven in 10 teens of both sexes have had intercourse."
So, while abstinence is obviously the BEST option, it is not always a realistic expectation of our children. We as parents can do our best to teach our children to wait, but we cannot be with them at every moment. We cannot be by their sides to make decisions for them. We have to accept reality and arm our children with the tools to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies and potentially life threatening diseases, should they find themselves in a situation where their bodies are thinking, instead of their minds. We have to give them the knowledge of the consequences of sex. We have to let them know about the 15 million new cases of STD's that are reported each year, half of those belonging to people ages 15 - 24. I will never be the mom that hands my kids condoms and tells them to have fun, obviously, but I WILL be the mom that provides my children with the knowledge to make an educated decision, should they decide to go against what we as parents HOPE for....that they'll wait. Knowledge is power. Knowledge can save their life. Knowledge can prevent a pregnancy. Hoping and praying your kid will wait until marriage is about as solid of a plan as hoping and praying to retire by winning the lottery. We have to prepare them for the real world. And in the real world - teenagers have sex.
And they get pregnant. We have a wildly popular series on TV about teenage mothers. Teen pregnancy is an epidemic. It's not going anywhere either. In a conversation about this abortion came up. Most people I know are strongly against abortion. My feelings on abortion are pretty strong as well, but I am not pro-choice or pro-life. I'm somewhere in the middle about it. I personally do not know anyone that's had an abortion - well, I might know someone - but they've never advertised it or talked to me about it if they have had one. So my feelings do not come from personal experience. I just have an opinion about it.
This conversation that took place was on facebook. On the page of a preachers wife. Obviously, everyone was pro-life. "God NEVER makes a mistake" "EVERY pregnancy is a miracle, even if you can't see that right now". Yeah? I disagree. I personally believe that abortion should not be used as a means of birth control. I think if you got pregnant unintentionally, there are other options, namely adoption. There are tons of people out there that would do anything to raise your unwanted baby. But, there are certain circumstances that I find abortion acceptable. A rape that resulted in pregnancy is absolutely an understandable reason to want and have an abortion. Another situation I thought of was a single mom who is pregnant and is advised by her doctors that the pregnancy will likely kill her (for whatever reason). Should she give birth and leave two children without a mother, or have an abortion, to be here for her living child?
And in the case of teen pregnancy? I'm on the fence. So I can't really speak with absolute certainty how I would react to that situation, if it were to present itself in my life. I know as an adult with two children and a supportive husband to help me, being a mother is still hard. I know that only 50% of teenage mothers finish high school. And an even lower percentage attend college. Getting pregnant at a young age and becoming a mother will most likely result in a difficult life.Not only will the teen parents suffer, the child will suffer as well. Not in ALL cases obviously, but in most. You cannot expect a 15 year old to be able to teach a child life lessons they themselves have not yet had a chance to learn. While I think abortion in most situations is wrong, I can't be 100% sure I wouldn't suggest it to my child if they found themselves facing that situation.
You have to think about all sides of it. It is quite easy to sit back and think that NO pregnancy should ever be terminated. It is quite easy to judge when your not faced with making that life changing decision. It is quite easy to say that even a pregnancy that was a result of a violent sexual act is a miracle, but I'd be willing to bet that while in theory that sounds great, in reality, if that happened to you, you just might find yourself asking God to forgive you while your sitting at the doctors office.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Money, Politics, and Religion
I'm usually an open book. I will talk about a wide variety of subjects. Want to talk about your job? OK. Want to talk about sports? I will try. Want to talk about science? Not really my thing, but yeah, why not? I don't know a lot about any one thing, but I do know a little about a lot of things. I am generally level headed and can look at situations objectively, if you'd like my opinion. I do not however, under most circumstances, feel comfortable talking about money, politics, or religion.
Actually, I will usually listen, but not offer up my opinion or a view into my financial situation. Why? Well I guess the same reason most people don't like to talk about these subjects. We're going to disagree, and I don't like to debate. I've mentioned before if I debate, its because I KNOW I'm right. Well here's the thing. I don't feel like there is a cut and dry right and wrong to politics or religion. Everyone has an opinion and they're entitled to that. I cannot tell a Muslim they're going to hell because they're not Christian. Just as I cannot be sure I'm not going to hell. I can believe what I believe, and respect others for believing what they believe. Same goes for politics. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I take each election seriously and decide who I believe is the best for the country and vote that way. The end. You have the right to do that as well. I have no problem saying who I voted for, but should I have to defend my choice? Nope.... and I won't. Because I, like you, have the right to chose whomever I want to, and do not have to justify it.
I've spent countless hours hearing how useless Bush was, and how useless Obama is. I've heard how Obamacare is going to ruin our country. I've heard how Bush ruined our economy and reputation throughout the world. I've heard how our kids will suffer if we don't get Obama out of office. I've heard how Bush was not qualified to be president. I generally don't care what your opinion is. Really. Do you think I've gotten in a debate with someone who has told me that Obama is ruining our nation? No, I haven't, because although I may not agree with people on their opinions, I don't care enough to argue with you. It's your right as an American to love or loathe whomever you decide to. I don't think I have enough power (or energy for that matter) to change your mind. And don't bother trying to change mine. You won't.
Just because I am not a debater, does not mean I am uneducated. I do my research. I am well aware of the situations in the world. I am well aware of the general consensus. But you and I arguing is going to accomplish nothing. Obama is still going to be president, at least until the election. I feel like its wasted breath, and can potentially create bad blood for no reason. I will never agree with someone that I disagree with just to be polite. I will however let someone speak, hear their opinion, and politely change the direction of the conversation. That's just how I roll.
I don't want it to be mistaken, as I've mentioned in previous posts. Just because I don't flaunt my religion, politics, or money (or lack thereof), doesn't make me less than you. I just don't feel the necessity to tell everyone how I feel about those very personal subjects. I do not under any circumstances think less of anyone for voicing their opinion about these things. If you feel comfortable talking about these subjects, feel free. But don't look down on me for not reciprocating. Or look at me as weak or uneducated because I choose not to divulge how I feel about it.
As soon as we understand (which will never happen) that there is no right and wrong about religion and politics, then we'll all be happier. Politically speaking, they all have faults. Religiously speaking, my God says not to judge others. Financially speaking, rich have problems, poor have problems. At the end of the day, its just better to leave those subjects alone.
Actually, I will usually listen, but not offer up my opinion or a view into my financial situation. Why? Well I guess the same reason most people don't like to talk about these subjects. We're going to disagree, and I don't like to debate. I've mentioned before if I debate, its because I KNOW I'm right. Well here's the thing. I don't feel like there is a cut and dry right and wrong to politics or religion. Everyone has an opinion and they're entitled to that. I cannot tell a Muslim they're going to hell because they're not Christian. Just as I cannot be sure I'm not going to hell. I can believe what I believe, and respect others for believing what they believe. Same goes for politics. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I take each election seriously and decide who I believe is the best for the country and vote that way. The end. You have the right to do that as well. I have no problem saying who I voted for, but should I have to defend my choice? Nope.... and I won't. Because I, like you, have the right to chose whomever I want to, and do not have to justify it.
I've spent countless hours hearing how useless Bush was, and how useless Obama is. I've heard how Obamacare is going to ruin our country. I've heard how Bush ruined our economy and reputation throughout the world. I've heard how our kids will suffer if we don't get Obama out of office. I've heard how Bush was not qualified to be president. I generally don't care what your opinion is. Really. Do you think I've gotten in a debate with someone who has told me that Obama is ruining our nation? No, I haven't, because although I may not agree with people on their opinions, I don't care enough to argue with you. It's your right as an American to love or loathe whomever you decide to. I don't think I have enough power (or energy for that matter) to change your mind. And don't bother trying to change mine. You won't.
Just because I am not a debater, does not mean I am uneducated. I do my research. I am well aware of the situations in the world. I am well aware of the general consensus. But you and I arguing is going to accomplish nothing. Obama is still going to be president, at least until the election. I feel like its wasted breath, and can potentially create bad blood for no reason. I will never agree with someone that I disagree with just to be polite. I will however let someone speak, hear their opinion, and politely change the direction of the conversation. That's just how I roll.
I don't want it to be mistaken, as I've mentioned in previous posts. Just because I don't flaunt my religion, politics, or money (or lack thereof), doesn't make me less than you. I just don't feel the necessity to tell everyone how I feel about those very personal subjects. I do not under any circumstances think less of anyone for voicing their opinion about these things. If you feel comfortable talking about these subjects, feel free. But don't look down on me for not reciprocating. Or look at me as weak or uneducated because I choose not to divulge how I feel about it.
As soon as we understand (which will never happen) that there is no right and wrong about religion and politics, then we'll all be happier. Politically speaking, they all have faults. Religiously speaking, my God says not to judge others. Financially speaking, rich have problems, poor have problems. At the end of the day, its just better to leave those subjects alone.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
You paid how much for that?
Over the years, I've learned to be frugal. Mostly because I'd rather save my money than spend it. It started when I was a single mom and needed to make my money spread as far as possible. When times got better I kept those cost cutting ways. I love to get a good deal! I'm almost frugal to a fault. Sometimes, especially when planning on spending money on myself, I feel immense guilt, because I know that money could be used elsewhere. I'm not cheap when it comes to gifting others, but I can do without. I have the same tennis shoes I bought when Cain was under a year old. He's now 9, and I only recently got a new pair because my husbands sister left her addais here (on purpose) when she visited. But over the years the best tools I've learned for cost cutting are buying used.
The following is a list of things that you can save big bucks on by buying used:
Furniture: Craigslist has been a lifesaver for me on more than a few occasions. Not only selling my stuff, but buying it. You can easily buy furniture in like new condition for 10 - 20% of the original cost. And if you're willing to put in some elbow grease you can save even more. Just as an example I bought the following bedroom suit for $100
The following is a list of things that you can save big bucks on by buying used:
Furniture: Craigslist has been a lifesaver for me on more than a few occasions. Not only selling my stuff, but buying it. You can easily buy furniture in like new condition for 10 - 20% of the original cost. And if you're willing to put in some elbow grease you can save even more. Just as an example I bought the following bedroom suit for $100
Not much to look at, right? But $30 bucks at Home Depot and an afternoon of hard work, I turned it into this:
If you're willing to put in some time looking, you can save a bundle of cash by buying furniture, appliances, exercise equipment, and home accessories online, used, and for basically nothing.
Toys: Anything that's bleachable/washable will be purchased used! I've bought tons of toys...ride on toys, learning toys, leap pads, video games, dvds, balls, etc. I've purchased toys that at walmart are $45, for $2. I know kids well enough to know they'll play with a toy for 2 days and then they move on to the next one.
Jewelery: A few months ago my husband wanted to get me a new ring. I'm firmly against this idea, because my ring was what he chose, and it means more to me than what it looks like, but after months of suggesting it, I finally went into a jewelery store and looked. Yeah, I knew myself too well. I walked out shaking my head at the prices of a stupid ring. I then ran over to the pawn shop and found a huge selection of gorgeous rings for really cheap! And they'll prove to you its real. And they'll negotiate with you. Why would anyone go to Kay and pay $3000 for a ring you can get for $400 at a pawn shop? And just as a side note, I didn't get a new ring, and I doubt I ever will.
Cars: Brand new cars are awesome. They really are. They're perfectly clean, they smell amazing, and basically you KNOW nothing is wrong with it. But they're expensive, and the second you drive off the lot, they've lost 10,000 in value! I could never bring myself to purchase a new car. Never. (well unless I win the lotto, in which case I wouldn't mind). Buying used is the way to go. I bought my car from a bank like 8 years ago. It was repossessed, and worth $15000. I bought it for $5000 cash and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. That's why I still drive it. Then I think about the guy it go repoed from, he owed $17000 on it, and didn't have anything to show for it. I've had like 7 cars. None have been new, and no future cars will be either.
Vacations: If I can't get a coupon code to book a hotel room or for tickets to places, I usually won't bother. Many times in my past I've agreed to go to a timeshare sales pitch to get a nice hotel for next to nothing. Yeah it was totally annoying, but it was like an hour of my time and saying no, no, no. I don't have a problems saying no, so for me it was worth it!
Sometimes a simple google search can help you save money on things you wouldn't necessarily think about. I can't even begin to tally up how much I've saved over the years by buying used, so consider that before you go out and buy a $4000 bedroom suit (but still buy your mattresses new!).
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