I usually check in on Facebook a few times a day....whenever I get a spare second. I like FB because I cannot see my friends regularly and I like to keep up with whats going on with people. It's a way to stay connected when life is too busy to find actual real life face time with friends. But then there are some people that just annoy me to no end. Specifically the braggers of Facebook.
Look, I just like you, like to share good news. I also share bad news, news stories, and my weight loss progress. Actually I'm sure I annoy people with my postings about weight loss, and that's fine, I understand, but I really do that not to get a pat on the back, but kind of as a way to keep going. I feel accountable when people other than myself know I gained or lost. It's just a little motivation. But I don't mean to annoy, so forgive that. I'm not saying I've got perfect Facbook etiquette.
But some people update several times a day with just how charmed their life is. "I have the perfect husband/wife" "My children are amazing" "My friends are the best" "My job couldn't be any better" "My house is sooo big, but my amazing kids and husband and housekeeper keep it in perfect working order" "I'm the most organized person I know" "I'm better at doing this than anyone" "It's my birthday, anniversary, kids birthday, etc. so I'm going to keep reminding you every 30 seconds" "I love that I'm so in shape" I could keep going. Now any one of these things at once is fine. But seriously, every post? Maybe these people are just trying to have a positive outlook on things, and I commend that (doubtful, but possible). What I really wonder when I've seen months or years of these posts though is "are they trying to convince the world, or convince themselves"? Everyone has a bad day, and it's completely ok if you don't come off as being perfect!
I am always happy when I see someones children have succeeded at something. And when friends get to take a family vacation and share pics. And when a friend buys a new house. I truly am happy when people are happy. But there is a line between just sharing good news and bragging. I just don't know how they don't see that they are coming off as fake!
Anyway, this post may piss some people off, and I understand that, I'm just asking that you re-evaluate your need to say how amazing every single aspect of your life is every five minutes. It's really not believable.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Shocking News Story out of Mississippi...
After browsing through the news as I do most days, I came across a story that saddened me beyond words. Daily we are filled with stories of robberies, rapes, war, and murder. These stories are so common that sometimes, they don't even shock me. But this story really got to me.
A young mother, 24 years old, killed her toddler. This happens a lot in the news as well. What you don't hear in the news often is the way she killed her little boy. She placed him in the oven - alive - and cooked him to death. He died of heat injuries and his body was badly burned.
I understand being frustrated by your kids. I understand wanting to pull your hair out sometimes. I even understand having to walk away from your kids because you're just so mad that you have to breathe for a minute. What I do not understand is what frame of mind you'd have to be in to harm your child. Not only harm your child, but torture them. Slowly killing them by putting them in a hot oven and allowing them to burn to death. Even if she put him in the oven in a moment of rage (not that that's acceptable in any way) she had time to realize what she was doing was the most disgusting thing ever. She had time to change her mind and save him. She had to hear him screaming in pain. She had to hear him kicking to try to get out, yet she continued on with her plan. What kind of sick individual can do this? Not only do it, but do it to your own flesh and blood. Your baby. The one person you should be willing to die for.
Whenever I hear about a child being killed I am always most sad when I think about what the child must have been feeling and thinking. They must have been so scared, and so confused as to why the person they love the most is hurting them. In this particular case I'm sure there was prior abuse, it's not very often you hear of someone going from parent of the year to cold blooded child killer. I just hate that this boy had to suffer.
I really cannot wrap my head around what the mom (and i use that term loosely) was thinking. I sometimes hope that it's a mental condition they cannot control, because it pains me to think people could actually consciously hurt another human being, let alone their own baby. Regardless of her mental state, I hope that this woman gets the death penalty. She deserves to die for what she did. There is a special place in hell for people like that.
You can read the story here.
A young mother, 24 years old, killed her toddler. This happens a lot in the news as well. What you don't hear in the news often is the way she killed her little boy. She placed him in the oven - alive - and cooked him to death. He died of heat injuries and his body was badly burned.
I understand being frustrated by your kids. I understand wanting to pull your hair out sometimes. I even understand having to walk away from your kids because you're just so mad that you have to breathe for a minute. What I do not understand is what frame of mind you'd have to be in to harm your child. Not only harm your child, but torture them. Slowly killing them by putting them in a hot oven and allowing them to burn to death. Even if she put him in the oven in a moment of rage (not that that's acceptable in any way) she had time to realize what she was doing was the most disgusting thing ever. She had time to change her mind and save him. She had to hear him screaming in pain. She had to hear him kicking to try to get out, yet she continued on with her plan. What kind of sick individual can do this? Not only do it, but do it to your own flesh and blood. Your baby. The one person you should be willing to die for.
Whenever I hear about a child being killed I am always most sad when I think about what the child must have been feeling and thinking. They must have been so scared, and so confused as to why the person they love the most is hurting them. In this particular case I'm sure there was prior abuse, it's not very often you hear of someone going from parent of the year to cold blooded child killer. I just hate that this boy had to suffer.
I really cannot wrap my head around what the mom (and i use that term loosely) was thinking. I sometimes hope that it's a mental condition they cannot control, because it pains me to think people could actually consciously hurt another human being, let alone their own baby. Regardless of her mental state, I hope that this woman gets the death penalty. She deserves to die for what she did. There is a special place in hell for people like that.
You can read the story here.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Invincible
I haven't written in a while. I haven't been able to. Since Valentines Day, things have been rough in my life. I've been spread way too thin, so something like finding a minute to write a thought was not doable. Things today are better and I want to take a few minutes to write about whats been going on.
A few weeks ago my mom was brought to the ER by ambulance for being unresponsive. I'd been to the ER for my moms complications from one thing or another dozens of times over the past few years. But this time when I saw her I freaked out. I cried. I don't cry when someones sick. Everyone around me has been sick and I've become accustomed too it. I'm the strong one, and when I cry about a sickness - it's serious. My mom seemed to have had a stroke. Unable to form words. Arm tensed up by her head. Looking to her right, unable to look left, and looking right past you as you spoke to her. As if you weren't even in the room. That is scary. Seeing your mom who told you your whole life what to do and how to do things, lying in a bed, unable to do anything. A few hours later she seemed to snap out of it. She was able to talk, able to look both ways, able to keep her arm down. She was still a bit confused, but she was there. After a surgery to unblock an artery, she was home and doing well a few days later. While she was in the hospital awaiting her surgery I told her,"Mom, you scared me this time, but I'm beginning to think you're invincible. As much as you've been through, you snap right back and keep on going"
Fast forward a few days and I got a call again, "Your mom's on the way to the ER by ambulance, she was unresponsive". I flew to the hospital to find her in the same exact room, but this time it seemed so much better. She was confused about some things, but able to talk and saying she just wanted to go home. I ran to her house to pick up her meds for the dr. and when I came back she was asleep. And she was convulsing. And her blood pressure was so low on the monitor that I made them do a manual one because I didn't believe it was actually possible to have a BP of 40/14. Apparently it is possible. She was taken to the ICU where she didn't wake up for a day. They called me to tell me they were intubating her. She required the vent to breathe for her 100% for a few days and was unable to compensate herself when they turned the oxygen down at all. There was basically no hope. They were talking tracheotomies and long term hospital care, when once again, she just snapped out of it the next day.
Today I was told by her dr. that he didn't expect her to live. To be quite honest, I wasn't surprised, because neither did I. I think this was the first time ever that I really expected to have to say goodbye to my mom. That thought really messed with me this past week. How could I say goodbye to MY mom. I mean..she's far from perfect. But she is really important to me. She has done so much for me and my family, that I can't even believe how giving she is. She is not without fault, but neither is anyone else. I love my mom and feel so bad for people that don't know her. She is a good person, a loving person, she's funny, and she's nice, and she'd provide a complete stranger with anything they needed. I've actually seen her do it before. She loves my children so much. And my children love her too. I often wonder why there is that bond. Grandmas are supposed to bake for the grand kids. And take them out to play, and buy them really cool gifts. And give them lots of candy when the parents don't. But since my moms been pretty much bedridden for the majority of Cain's life and all of Zayd's, she's been unable to do all that special "Grandma stuff". But my kids, without fail, EVERY SINGLE DAY ask if they can go see nanna. Most days Zayd throws a fit when I say no. They love their nanna so much.
Most young fit and healthy people could not stand what she's been through over the past 7 years. Physically or mentally. I'm a strong person, and I don't know if I could deal with it. I envy her for her will to go on. And I am so thankful that so far, she has been invincible.
I know one day I will inevitably have to say goodbye to her, but for now, while I have her, I am going to make sure that she knows just exactly how important she is in my life and the life of my husband and children. Please take this blog entry as a lesson that life is short. Don't wait to visit your mom or dad till tomorrow. Because there may not be a tomorrow. There may not be a next week. Even if only a call, make sure those that are important to you are well aware of it.
A few weeks ago my mom was brought to the ER by ambulance for being unresponsive. I'd been to the ER for my moms complications from one thing or another dozens of times over the past few years. But this time when I saw her I freaked out. I cried. I don't cry when someones sick. Everyone around me has been sick and I've become accustomed too it. I'm the strong one, and when I cry about a sickness - it's serious. My mom seemed to have had a stroke. Unable to form words. Arm tensed up by her head. Looking to her right, unable to look left, and looking right past you as you spoke to her. As if you weren't even in the room. That is scary. Seeing your mom who told you your whole life what to do and how to do things, lying in a bed, unable to do anything. A few hours later she seemed to snap out of it. She was able to talk, able to look both ways, able to keep her arm down. She was still a bit confused, but she was there. After a surgery to unblock an artery, she was home and doing well a few days later. While she was in the hospital awaiting her surgery I told her,"Mom, you scared me this time, but I'm beginning to think you're invincible. As much as you've been through, you snap right back and keep on going"
Fast forward a few days and I got a call again, "Your mom's on the way to the ER by ambulance, she was unresponsive". I flew to the hospital to find her in the same exact room, but this time it seemed so much better. She was confused about some things, but able to talk and saying she just wanted to go home. I ran to her house to pick up her meds for the dr. and when I came back she was asleep. And she was convulsing. And her blood pressure was so low on the monitor that I made them do a manual one because I didn't believe it was actually possible to have a BP of 40/14. Apparently it is possible. She was taken to the ICU where she didn't wake up for a day. They called me to tell me they were intubating her. She required the vent to breathe for her 100% for a few days and was unable to compensate herself when they turned the oxygen down at all. There was basically no hope. They were talking tracheotomies and long term hospital care, when once again, she just snapped out of it the next day.
Today I was told by her dr. that he didn't expect her to live. To be quite honest, I wasn't surprised, because neither did I. I think this was the first time ever that I really expected to have to say goodbye to my mom. That thought really messed with me this past week. How could I say goodbye to MY mom. I mean..she's far from perfect. But she is really important to me. She has done so much for me and my family, that I can't even believe how giving she is. She is not without fault, but neither is anyone else. I love my mom and feel so bad for people that don't know her. She is a good person, a loving person, she's funny, and she's nice, and she'd provide a complete stranger with anything they needed. I've actually seen her do it before. She loves my children so much. And my children love her too. I often wonder why there is that bond. Grandmas are supposed to bake for the grand kids. And take them out to play, and buy them really cool gifts. And give them lots of candy when the parents don't. But since my moms been pretty much bedridden for the majority of Cain's life and all of Zayd's, she's been unable to do all that special "Grandma stuff". But my kids, without fail, EVERY SINGLE DAY ask if they can go see nanna. Most days Zayd throws a fit when I say no. They love their nanna so much.
Most young fit and healthy people could not stand what she's been through over the past 7 years. Physically or mentally. I'm a strong person, and I don't know if I could deal with it. I envy her for her will to go on. And I am so thankful that so far, she has been invincible.
I know one day I will inevitably have to say goodbye to her, but for now, while I have her, I am going to make sure that she knows just exactly how important she is in my life and the life of my husband and children. Please take this blog entry as a lesson that life is short. Don't wait to visit your mom or dad till tomorrow. Because there may not be a tomorrow. There may not be a next week. Even if only a call, make sure those that are important to you are well aware of it.
Friday, February 11, 2011
In Honor of Valentines Day....
It's been almost 4 years since I first started talking to my husband online...in honor of V-day I will tell you all about our first date...at least what I remember of it. It did take place after a 7 hour flight from New York :)
I remember getting off the plane. I was so nervous. Actually nervous doesn't really explain what I was feeling. Just 10 hours earlier, as my best friend was driving me to the airport, I had a huge knot in my stomach and I remember saying something to the effect of "I'm not sure I can do this, I'm gonna puke". I was heading to a country I'd never been to to go on a 10 day date with a man I'd never met. Yeah, nervous is an understatement.
As I made my way into the baggage claim at the airport in Casablanca, I was scared. I didn't know how to get my passport stamped and no one spoke English. I didn't know where to go to find my "date". After finally figuring it out, I walked through the double doors where your friends/family wait for your arrival. A sea of women in hijabs all looked at me. Panic set in as I scanned the room and didn't see him. Just as I was trying to plan how to make my way around a country by myself for 10 days since I got stood up....he appeared. With a bouquet of lillies. My favorite flower. I'd mentioned it once in passing, and he'd remembered. They were the prettiest lillies I'd ever seen, and still have ever seen to this day. But more importantly, he was there. He was tall and cute and just as sweet as he'd acted on the phone and the internet. I couldn't believe it was real. I'd finally met this guy that I fell in love with seemingly overnight and over 5000 miles away.
This was our first meeting, so I count it as our first date.....
It was kind of awkward. I mean I knew him, but I didn't know him. He carried my bag and he held my hand. I had butterflies. We got in the car and he still held my hand. He drove me to the Mosque on the ocean to look around. It was beautiful, but tours were over, so we went and sat on a wall overlooking the ocean. We sat close to each other, took some pictures, and talked. He knew I was tired so we didn't stay terribly long. He asked me if I wanted to take the fastest way to the hotel or the scenic route. I chose the scenic route along the coast.
The drive was going to be about an hour or maybe a little more, I could barely think straight between the tiredness and the complete exhilaration I was feeling at the moment. We stopped at a cafe to grab some coffee and a snack. He ordered me a coffee and I'm sure something sweet...like a danish, I don't really remember. I do remember that the coffee was the strongest I'd ever tasted. It was thick and gross and I didn't care. I was just soaking in the moment. I cant tell you now what our conversation was about, but I do know whatever it was was completely amazing. I remember just looking into his eyes and thanking God that I didn't punk out and I actually boarded that plane.
We left the cafe and headed down the coast. We were listening to some french or Arabic music and looking out over the ocean. It was warm and sunny out, and the windows were down blowing through our hair. At some point he was driving and we just looked at each other and that was it, we leaned in and had our first kiss going down the road at probably 50 or 60 miles an hour....and it was the best kiss ever!
From there I don't remember everything that happened on that particular day. All of my Morocco memories kind of run together. But I remember that first "date", and more importantly our first kiss!
Valentines Day is not a huge holiday to me. I never really cared to truly celebrate it. But it is a time where I'm reminded to look back on that first day we met and be really happy that I do have a Valentine that means the world to me!
I remember getting off the plane. I was so nervous. Actually nervous doesn't really explain what I was feeling. Just 10 hours earlier, as my best friend was driving me to the airport, I had a huge knot in my stomach and I remember saying something to the effect of "I'm not sure I can do this, I'm gonna puke". I was heading to a country I'd never been to to go on a 10 day date with a man I'd never met. Yeah, nervous is an understatement.
As I made my way into the baggage claim at the airport in Casablanca, I was scared. I didn't know how to get my passport stamped and no one spoke English. I didn't know where to go to find my "date". After finally figuring it out, I walked through the double doors where your friends/family wait for your arrival. A sea of women in hijabs all looked at me. Panic set in as I scanned the room and didn't see him. Just as I was trying to plan how to make my way around a country by myself for 10 days since I got stood up....he appeared. With a bouquet of lillies. My favorite flower. I'd mentioned it once in passing, and he'd remembered. They were the prettiest lillies I'd ever seen, and still have ever seen to this day. But more importantly, he was there. He was tall and cute and just as sweet as he'd acted on the phone and the internet. I couldn't believe it was real. I'd finally met this guy that I fell in love with seemingly overnight and over 5000 miles away.
This was our first meeting, so I count it as our first date.....
It was kind of awkward. I mean I knew him, but I didn't know him. He carried my bag and he held my hand. I had butterflies. We got in the car and he still held my hand. He drove me to the Mosque on the ocean to look around. It was beautiful, but tours were over, so we went and sat on a wall overlooking the ocean. We sat close to each other, took some pictures, and talked. He knew I was tired so we didn't stay terribly long. He asked me if I wanted to take the fastest way to the hotel or the scenic route. I chose the scenic route along the coast.
The drive was going to be about an hour or maybe a little more, I could barely think straight between the tiredness and the complete exhilaration I was feeling at the moment. We stopped at a cafe to grab some coffee and a snack. He ordered me a coffee and I'm sure something sweet...like a danish, I don't really remember. I do remember that the coffee was the strongest I'd ever tasted. It was thick and gross and I didn't care. I was just soaking in the moment. I cant tell you now what our conversation was about, but I do know whatever it was was completely amazing. I remember just looking into his eyes and thanking God that I didn't punk out and I actually boarded that plane.
We left the cafe and headed down the coast. We were listening to some french or Arabic music and looking out over the ocean. It was warm and sunny out, and the windows were down blowing through our hair. At some point he was driving and we just looked at each other and that was it, we leaned in and had our first kiss going down the road at probably 50 or 60 miles an hour....and it was the best kiss ever!
From there I don't remember everything that happened on that particular day. All of my Morocco memories kind of run together. But I remember that first "date", and more importantly our first kiss!
Valentines Day is not a huge holiday to me. I never really cared to truly celebrate it. But it is a time where I'm reminded to look back on that first day we met and be really happy that I do have a Valentine that means the world to me!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Where's the surprise in that??
This morning on the radio I heard a girl call in and was speaking of her relationship. She said she and her boyfriend were in a committed relationship and were getting engaged soon. That last part reminded me that lately, as in the past few years, I've heard regularly, women talking about when they're getting engaged.
I then thought about how often I've heard women talk about going to pick out their engagement ring. This surprises me. When I think of getting engaged I think of a guy going and picking out a ring, secretly, that he thinks his girlfriend will love. I think of a man dreaming up some romantic way to surprise her, to catch her completely off guard. I think of a man calling her girlfriends to help him pull off the surprise. What I don't envision is having a conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend saying, "ok, well lets go to Kay Jewelers this weekend to pick out your ring".
I feel like getting asked "will you marry me" should be one of the biggest surprises in a womans life. Of course if you're in a committed relationship, you may realize it's headed in the direction of marriage, but I don't think it's our place as women to set a time or date or have the option of picking our ring. It's one of the biggest moments in a mans life too, and anyone who is married will probably agree that it will be the last large purchase he makes on his own. Once your married and you spend a couple grand on something, you pretty much need the ok of your spouse! I think we should leave this up to the one asking the question.
Now what if your guy picks a ring you hate? So. Thats what I say about it. It's the thought that counts. If he took the time to go to a jewelery store with you and your future in mind, you should cherish whatever he got you - whether it fit your style or not. The ring I got is not one I would have picked myself, and my husband knows that and has tried to talk me into getting a new ring several times. I've said no each time because while I may not love the style of it, I love the thought of it. I love that he went out and bought me something he thought I would love. I love that he took the time to think up a way to surprise me when he asked me to marry him. I can never get rid of this ring simply because I don't love the way it looks.
I guess my point is that sometimes just because you're in a relationship for a year doesn't mean you have to have the talk about getting an engagement ring. Obviously if you're talking about a future together he has marriage in mind. Let him be the man, take control of the situation and ask you to marry him how he wants to and with what he wants to.
I then thought about how often I've heard women talk about going to pick out their engagement ring. This surprises me. When I think of getting engaged I think of a guy going and picking out a ring, secretly, that he thinks his girlfriend will love. I think of a man dreaming up some romantic way to surprise her, to catch her completely off guard. I think of a man calling her girlfriends to help him pull off the surprise. What I don't envision is having a conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend saying, "ok, well lets go to Kay Jewelers this weekend to pick out your ring".
I feel like getting asked "will you marry me" should be one of the biggest surprises in a womans life. Of course if you're in a committed relationship, you may realize it's headed in the direction of marriage, but I don't think it's our place as women to set a time or date or have the option of picking our ring. It's one of the biggest moments in a mans life too, and anyone who is married will probably agree that it will be the last large purchase he makes on his own. Once your married and you spend a couple grand on something, you pretty much need the ok of your spouse! I think we should leave this up to the one asking the question.
Now what if your guy picks a ring you hate? So. Thats what I say about it. It's the thought that counts. If he took the time to go to a jewelery store with you and your future in mind, you should cherish whatever he got you - whether it fit your style or not. The ring I got is not one I would have picked myself, and my husband knows that and has tried to talk me into getting a new ring several times. I've said no each time because while I may not love the style of it, I love the thought of it. I love that he went out and bought me something he thought I would love. I love that he took the time to think up a way to surprise me when he asked me to marry him. I can never get rid of this ring simply because I don't love the way it looks.
I guess my point is that sometimes just because you're in a relationship for a year doesn't mean you have to have the talk about getting an engagement ring. Obviously if you're talking about a future together he has marriage in mind. Let him be the man, take control of the situation and ask you to marry him how he wants to and with what he wants to.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Cheating Spouses
Someone posted the question on FB the other day, "Why do people cheat"? Since I feel really strongly about cheating (as do most people, I assume) I felt the need to offer my opinion on the subject.
People who cheat have no morals. There is no fear of God. Cheating on a spouse is one of the worst sins you can commit, yet people these days seem to do it so easily.It's like there are no consequences for their actions.
Men cheat on women and the women find out and forgive them. Maybe you feel like a good person for being able to forgive, and maybe you are. Maybe it was a one time mistake. I personally would not be able to forgive even just one time. But that's me. I know my husband wouldn't forgive me for just one time either...and I respect that about him too.
I think people cheat when there is a problem in their relationship. It could be a lot of reasons. Not getting along, lack of intimacy, loneliness, not seeing each other enough....whatever. None of these reasons are good reasons for cheating. I cannot think of one GOOD reason to cheat. In my mind it's just never an option. If there is a problem in your relationship, you have two options:
1.) Fix it
2.) Get out of the marriage before you move on to the next person
If my husband cheated on me, I would never be able to look at him with respect again, I'd never be able to forgive him and move on like nothing happened. And that's what you have to do if you choose to forgive a cheater, because if you don't forgive and FORGET, you will inevitably think he is out with someone else every time he takes too long at Wal-mart, or every time he is a little late from work. You'll wonder if he's thinking about the other woman while he's with you. That's no way to live.
I have friends who have taken back cheating boyfriends and cheating husbands. I am a good friend so I support their decisions. What works for them wouldn't work for me, but it doesn't mean I judge you. You do what you need to do. But then there are those friends who are constantly cheated on. They have solid proof. The husband may have even admitted it. It may have been with several girls. My opinion here is....stop bitching about your husband cheating and how it hurts you so bad, and then take him back. Not once, not twice, but over and over and over. At that point, it's in your hands to change the situation. Stop expecting him to change. It is obvious if he is constantly in some other woman's company, whether that be at a restaurant or in her bed, he doesn't respect you and he doesn't want ONLY you. Stop expecting that to magically change. It won't.
And stop expecting your friends to feel bad for you when it happens, and then completely act like it didn't happen once you decide you want to make it work.....again. If you're going to keep taking him back you have to stop telling everyone about what he is doing. You are making your friends hate him for how he hurts you and they cant just forgive him at the drop of a hat because they don't "love him" like you do.
Cheating is quite possibly one of the worst things one can do to another. I think I'd rather be punched in the face than be cheated on. It's just such a violation of trust, respect, love.
For all of my friends that have dealt with this, please take the time to realize you are worth more than that. You deserve more, and he does not deserve you, your compassion, your forgiveness. There is someone out there that will love you completely and wholeheartedly. Someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve. Someone that will NEVER think of cheating on you.
People who cheat have no morals. There is no fear of God. Cheating on a spouse is one of the worst sins you can commit, yet people these days seem to do it so easily.It's like there are no consequences for their actions.
Men cheat on women and the women find out and forgive them. Maybe you feel like a good person for being able to forgive, and maybe you are. Maybe it was a one time mistake. I personally would not be able to forgive even just one time. But that's me. I know my husband wouldn't forgive me for just one time either...and I respect that about him too.
I think people cheat when there is a problem in their relationship. It could be a lot of reasons. Not getting along, lack of intimacy, loneliness, not seeing each other enough....whatever. None of these reasons are good reasons for cheating. I cannot think of one GOOD reason to cheat. In my mind it's just never an option. If there is a problem in your relationship, you have two options:
1.) Fix it
2.) Get out of the marriage before you move on to the next person
If my husband cheated on me, I would never be able to look at him with respect again, I'd never be able to forgive him and move on like nothing happened. And that's what you have to do if you choose to forgive a cheater, because if you don't forgive and FORGET, you will inevitably think he is out with someone else every time he takes too long at Wal-mart, or every time he is a little late from work. You'll wonder if he's thinking about the other woman while he's with you. That's no way to live.
I have friends who have taken back cheating boyfriends and cheating husbands. I am a good friend so I support their decisions. What works for them wouldn't work for me, but it doesn't mean I judge you. You do what you need to do. But then there are those friends who are constantly cheated on. They have solid proof. The husband may have even admitted it. It may have been with several girls. My opinion here is....stop bitching about your husband cheating and how it hurts you so bad, and then take him back. Not once, not twice, but over and over and over. At that point, it's in your hands to change the situation. Stop expecting him to change. It is obvious if he is constantly in some other woman's company, whether that be at a restaurant or in her bed, he doesn't respect you and he doesn't want ONLY you. Stop expecting that to magically change. It won't.
And stop expecting your friends to feel bad for you when it happens, and then completely act like it didn't happen once you decide you want to make it work.....again. If you're going to keep taking him back you have to stop telling everyone about what he is doing. You are making your friends hate him for how he hurts you and they cant just forgive him at the drop of a hat because they don't "love him" like you do.
Cheating is quite possibly one of the worst things one can do to another. I think I'd rather be punched in the face than be cheated on. It's just such a violation of trust, respect, love.
For all of my friends that have dealt with this, please take the time to realize you are worth more than that. You deserve more, and he does not deserve you, your compassion, your forgiveness. There is someone out there that will love you completely and wholeheartedly. Someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve. Someone that will NEVER think of cheating on you.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Weight Loss Progress
With diet and exercise, I've managed to lose some weight. I've really struggled with my weight for a long time, but it's finally becoming a lifestyle and not a diet for me. I am eating healthy and exercising everyday. It feels good to see results, but I am not even close to where I need to be. Its going to be a long road....
At week 4 I started measuring inches (I wish I'd done that from the beginning). From now on I will also include my inches in my weekly progress!
Week 1 - 6.8 lbs lost
Week 2 - 3.1 lbs lost
Week 3 - 0.4 lbs gained
Week 4 - 1.5 lbs lost
Week 5 - 4.6 lbs lost 9.25 inches lost
Week 6 - 0.2 lbs gained 3.75 inches lost
Week 7 - 2.6 lbs lost 5.75 inches lost
Week 8 - 3.7 lbs lost 5.00 inches lost
Week 9 - 2.4 lbs lost 0.00 inches lost (wierd...maybe cause I didn't exercise at all)
Week 10 - 0.9 lbs gained
Week 11 - did not weigh in
Week 12 - 5.1 lbs lost 7.25 inches lost
Week 13 - did not weigh in
Week 14 - did not weigh in 8.25 inches lost
Week 15 - 2.2 lbs lost
Week 16 - 0.7 lbs lost
Week 19 - 5.5 lbs lost 6.5 inches lost
Week 20 - 0.7 lbs lost
Week 21 - 0.9 lbs lost
Week 22 - 2.0 lbs lost
Week 25 - 3.1 lbs lost 7.5 inches lost
Week 26 - 1.6 lbs lost
Week 27 - 1.0 lbs lost
Not sure what week it is but I've lost 2.6 lbs
Total as of August 20, 2011 - 48.6 pounds lost
53.25 inches lost
Can't wait to post updates to watch my progress!
At week 4 I started measuring inches (I wish I'd done that from the beginning). From now on I will also include my inches in my weekly progress!
Week 1 - 6.8 lbs lost
Week 2 - 3.1 lbs lost
Week 3 - 0.4 lbs gained
Week 4 - 1.5 lbs lost
Week 5 - 4.6 lbs lost 9.25 inches lost
Week 6 - 0.2 lbs gained 3.75 inches lost
Week 7 - 2.6 lbs lost 5.75 inches lost
Week 8 - 3.7 lbs lost 5.00 inches lost
Week 9 - 2.4 lbs lost 0.00 inches lost (wierd...maybe cause I didn't exercise at all)
Week 10 - 0.9 lbs gained
Week 11 - did not weigh in
Week 12 - 5.1 lbs lost 7.25 inches lost
Week 13 - did not weigh in
Week 14 - did not weigh in 8.25 inches lost
Week 15 - 2.2 lbs lost
Week 16 - 0.7 lbs lost
Week 19 - 5.5 lbs lost 6.5 inches lost
Week 20 - 0.7 lbs lost
Week 21 - 0.9 lbs lost
Week 22 - 2.0 lbs lost
Week 25 - 3.1 lbs lost 7.5 inches lost
Week 26 - 1.6 lbs lost
Week 27 - 1.0 lbs lost
Not sure what week it is but I've lost 2.6 lbs
Total as of August 20, 2011 - 48.6 pounds lost
53.25 inches lost
Can't wait to post updates to watch my progress!
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